Wanted: personal social network coordinator

[I know this is old news, but I just finally made a humor category to put it in.]

There really is such a thing as being in too many networks. I certainly empathize with Jason Kottke, who, in his frustration over trying to keep up with all the social networks, posted a job listing on Craigslist for a full-time personal social network coordinator.

Your primary responsibility will be managing my accounts with various online social networking sites including, but not limited to, Friendster, LinkedIn, Tribe, Orkut, Ryze, Spoke, ZeroDegrees, Ecademy, RealContacts, Ringo, MySpace, Yafro, EveryonesConnected, Friendzy, FriendSurfer, Tickle, Evite, Plaxo, Squiby, and WhizSpark.

Specific duties include:

– approving or rejecting invitations of friendship

– managing a database of usernames and passwords for each of the social networking sites

– sending out friendship invitations

– keeping my social network synchronized; that is, invite friends from one social networking site to be friends in all of the other social networking sites

– handling requests by friends to be introduced to another friend that they might not know

– keeping track of my current likes & dislikes and updating my personal information within each service accordingly

– writing testimonials for friends

– various “damage control” functions when rebuffed “non-friends” become upset due to non-acceptance of their offers of friendship

– continually browsing my friends’ 1st and 2nd degrees for potential new friends and business contacts

– participating on any of the sites’ message boards on my behalf

Future duties may include discouraging companies and individuals from starting new social networking sites so that additional staff won’t be necessary in the future. Past employment as a bouncer, “heavy”, or hired goon may be helpful in this regard.

Benefits include addition as my friend in all of the social networking sites I belong to.

Ahh, if only it were real… sounds like my dream job! (NOT!)